It’s Ok To Not Be Ok

How many times have found yourself at the end of your rope? Realizing that everything seems to be caving in all at the same time? Troubles from just about every angle show up and you just don’t feel equipt for the task. It’s time to go to church and you try to find any reason in the book not to go because, well, life.

But somehow you’re there.

You find yourself at church and suddenly your heart feels heavier than ever.

Instead of running to the altar and crying out to the Lord you’re sitting at the back of the room quietly crying, trying your best to remain out-of-sight? You don’t want to draw attention to your weariness. No one needs to see just how broken you’re feeling. Your life, your problems, right?

The thing is, even though you feel broken. Even though you feel like giving up. Even though you don’t even know how you managed to make it to church, you’re there. You made it because even in your brokenness your heart was receptive enough to the Lord’s direction.

 YOU SHOWED UP!

And even if no one around you notices you, or no one cares to see your pain God does,  He is the only one whose opinion of us matters, and He loves us. He feels our pain. He hears our hearts crying out in our weakness. He sees all that we’ve been through and He knows our tanks are empty.

When we decide to show up, we find that God has already been waiting for us.

He has our backs. He is our strength. He is the only one who can truly help us through whatever storm we face. We expect so much from the people around us. We expect them to care. We expect them to help. We expect a lot. Yet for some odd reason, we usually expect God to leave us hanging when He is the only one who can meet us exactly where we are.

So I don’t care if you see me crying. I don’t care if you think something negative about me in my moments of weakness. Just because I breakdown does not mean I have fallen. I am human! I hurt. I feel. I get overwhelmed. I grow weary.

BUT IM HERE!

I’ve come to refuel. I need God to take my load and fill my spirit and so I’m here. I’m crying, I’m broken and I’m at my Father’s house expecting healing, expecting a breakthrough, expecting Him to breathe life into my heart once again.

I’m weak and I’m still learning so much about what it means to walk through life completely relying on Him. But He is my strength. He sees my heart and He has me in His hands.

So to all those looking at someone in church losing her cool.
Let her.
She’s kept it together long enough.

She showed up, give her a hand. 👏

   I am praying for everyone out there who needs a little grace. Anyone who is struggling through something they don’t see an outcome for. I want to remind you that the God we serve is capable of things we can’t even begin to imagine. So believe He can and don’t be afraid to ask Him for help. 

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God Wants To Help

I’m a stay-at-home mom with 3 kids whom I also homeschool. I know a little bit about being overwhelmed and overworked; unnoticed and unappreciated. I feel I do so much for my family because I love them, of course. I just think it’d be nice to be acknowledged for all that I do every once in a while?

I am with my kids allll the time and sometimes that task alone just seems like a lot. It’s not that I don’t love my kids, and I definitely wouldn’t give up homeschooling them. I just feel like I am always “on” and that takes a lot out of a person.

I try to explain it to people like this. Imagine, if you will, you go into work and never leave. You sleep there, wake up there, eat all your meals there, and while you’re in the bathroom your supervisor is talking to you through the door about an issue (of course in my case, the “supervisor” would be in the bathroom).

IT’S ROUGH.

There are sooo many times I go to my room to cry because I feel so overwhelmed with trying to figure out 3 completely different kids, who all need love and attention from me but in 3 different ways.

I want nothing more than to be a great mom to my 3 little blessings but some days I feel like I fail at that miserably. I get overwhelmed, and it shows. I get mad, and it shows. I get annoyed, and it shows. I give up so many times in my head on those days. And yet, by the grace of God, those kids still love me.

I could definitely take myself out on more dates and ask family for some help for me to de-stress every now and then. But I don’t, because ever since my heart started walking on the outside of my body I’ve been filled with anxiety and worry. I feel I care for them too much to just leave them anywhere without me. I know, it sounds a bit much, trust me, I know..

GOD TRUSTS ME, DO I TRUST HIM?

God is the reason I even have my kids. Each one of them was directly sent from Him. He trusted me with their lives and believed that I had what they needed to have a good life. He trusted in me to teach them about Him and life, in a way that matters most. He lead me to homeschool them and trusted that I would make that jump. He also believes that even when I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing I’d be open enough to Hear Him whisper “we’ve got this”.

God has completely revealed His trust in me and every passing day He does it again. He brought them to me so that we could teach each other something new about love, life, and faith. And He is asking me to trust Him in keeping them safe while I’m away.

You hear this and it sounds so simple. “YES girl! Let Him take the wheel”. And yet, I still find it so hard to completely let my mind go of worry when I leave them anywhere.

This might sound trivial to some or maybe not even relatable at all. These are my struggles. Figuring out how to gracefully manage a home while not forgetting to take care of me; giving God control of the outcome. But for you, it can look completely different.

Maybe you find yourself struggling with issues at work. It could be your co-workers giving you a hard time, maybe your boss keeps picking on you for some reason, maybe the workload seems too much at times.
Maybe your struggles are at school. With classmates or teachers constantly on your case. Perhaps you’re struggling with a new concept in a specific class.
You could be struggling in your home life. With your spouse, maybe your health, dealing with a loss of a loved one, maybe your finances are looking grim.

Whatever the situation you find yourself currently losing control in, God wants to help.
He wants you to trust Him with your problems and talk to Him about them, and just completely hand them over to Him. He WANTS to see us thrive. He WANTS us to truly enjoy our lives. Let Him in.

HE WANTS TO HELP.

He is asking you to trust Him the way He has been trusting you. Trust that He is listening to your prayers about your job, your bills, your marriage. Trust that He has it all in His hands. Trust that He is working all things out for your good. Trust that He wants you to have an awesome life. Trust that He knows the future and His timing is always on point.

HE CAN and HE WILL if you would just BELIEVE.

“What do you mean IF I can? Jesus asked.
ANYTHING is possible if a person BELIEVES.” -Mark 9:23

I pray the Lord continues to encourage you and remind you of His presence even in your everyday life. I know it’s hard to believe that He cares about the small things but He does. He sees you cleaning the living room for the 10th time today. He sees you in the bathroom at work flooded with frustration. He hears your cries as you grieve the loss of a loved one.

HE WANTS TO HELP.

Call on Him.
Let Him in.
Be encouraged and remember that all you need to do is start talking; He’s listening.