Relationships, The Series…
We are all human and can all agree that the human experience is built around relationships. We are relational creatures and we were not intended to be alone.
I think it is also safe to say that the majority of our “drama” in life starts with a relationship be it intimate or simply business.
I’ve come up with this series to lay out a very basic but practical layout for our regular relationship interactions.
We all have family, whether we were born into them or invited in, we have people whom we’ve grown with since infancy. Whether you like them or not, whether they like you or not, we have them. Now as an adult I see family from a different perspective and today I wish to share my point of view.
Thick N Thin
In a family, we learn that we are in this together. We look out for each other no matter how bad things can get. If someone is lying on their death bed you bury the hatchet and get to them as fast as you can.
You don’t let things linger between family for very long. You love them because they love you. You care about them because you grew up together, you shared rooms, memories, clothes, experiences. There’s a no-matter-what unspoken bond there. However, that being said, my next point is
This is where I feel a little more leg-work is required. The point above was more of an “unconditional” kind of love because you cry for your own (I put quotations because I feel it is very hard for the human mind to fathom the true meaning or depth of true unconditional love).
This point though has more to do with what you do and don’t do that testify your deeper feelings for each member.
What do I mean?
Though we are family, I cannot allow that title to carry all the weight of what it truly means to be actively involved in someone else’s life.
For example, I’m your sister but am I actively involved in my brother’s life to earn the passion only a child can purely describe as auntie? Not the auntie of biological phrase but the auntie who sits on the floor playing legos for an hour, or the auntie who can talk about books and stories whenever, or the auntie who listens when mom seems to not be hearing lately.
Though I am your mother, am I sharing the kind of love you need from me? Have I accepted you and appreciate you for the person you are today and not just reminisce on the person you use to be? Am I aware of your struggles? Do you confide in me as not only your mother but your friend?
Though I am your son, am I honestly grateful for the life you’ve provided for our family, being an adult myself and seeing just how NOT easy being an adult is? Am I on your most recent call log? Do you confidently and passionately take my kids and delve into their lives like no one but you can?
Earned weight, for me, is the proof of your love for those you say you love. Does it sound bad to use proof of love like that? Yes, but humans have developed the bad habit of using words without truly considering their value so, the next best way to know a person’s feelings for you would be through their behavior/actions towards you.
Unit Of Individuals
I know people who have completely crucified their entire family for the act of one member. And that is what brings me to the individual. Families are made of a group of people whom you have grown with but each individual person plays their own unique role in your life. No one should be judged for something they haven’t done themselves. The only one who can and has carried that cross is Jesus.
That being said, when reading this, have you pictured a particular person from your family that you feel does not meet these points? Does that person look like you? Ouch, I know. But a lot of times we hear a good word or something that sheds light on some dark places and we immediately think of someone who we feel may fall into that category. Rarely do we stop to think of ourselves as possibly being that person in someone else’s life.
I leave you with this question. Are we being the best brother, sister, mother, grandmother that we can be? That they deserve (think Grace)? That God created you to be?