Have you ever been so overcome by something that all hope completely abandons you and faith doesn’t seem like enough?
It was about a little over a week ago, everything was going great. I had my bible time, my prayer time, my worship music constantly playing in the background. I would say my relationship with God was awesome.
Until one night, I got an attack from the enemy in that strange middle ground of being half asleep, half awake. I was able to come out of that in victory, glory be to God, but that night opened the door to fear in my life.
Whenever I would walk around I would look over my shoulders a lot because I would feel like I was seeing something just outside of my peripheral vision. I wouldn’t stay up too late anymore, the music played less and less, I forgot to read the word most days. These were all things I didn’t notice was happening, at the time.
Fear came in and completely blocked my relationship with God.
The Breaking Point
It was about two nights ago when I attempted to attend a party, with people I don’t truly know so well. Which is a big deal for me because I get social anxiety. But I thought, “God’s got me, I can do this”. Now, I wasn’t wrong to think that; God would’ve helped. However, I underestimated the amount of damage fear had caused on my mind by this time.
How’d the party go? It didn’t. At least not for me. I went in and walked out shortly after and from that moment on could not move myself to walk back in. I cried, I prayed, I begged God, but my feet would not move. I was terrified. I had a full blown panic attack and then left. (That’s another story for another day. Ha!)
I spent the next day extremely depressed and thinking all types of things that I know the enemy himself was feeding me.
The thing is, if we’re honest with ourselves and really listen in to Gods voice then we know that what we are experiencing is an attack from the enemy. However, just because we know this doesn’t mean it’s always going to be easy to fight it off.
Why am I sharing all this?
God never left me. I heard His kind whisper that night telling me to give it another try. But I didn’t push myself out of my fear to listen. He constantly reassures me of His power, love, and authority every time I walk around scared. I have to purposely talk myself out of being afraid.
God told me this morning,
“Sometimes, it’s not about the storm as much as it is about how you come out of the storm”.
Has the enemy been trying to scare me out of a relationship with God? Yes.
Has it been hard to talk myself out of fear at night? Yes.
Has God ever left me hanging when I try? Never.
I have to talk myself out of fear, I have to remind myself and the enemy Who I serve. But every time I take that step of faith and proclaim God’s authority at that moment, God shows up. His love and comfort surrounds me.
There are times when it happens almost immediately, and moments where it takes a good fifteen minutes to manifest. Let me explain. It’s not that God is sleeping on me. The amount of time it takes depends on the amount of faith you have at that moment when you proclaim God’s Word.
Fear is simply the absence of faith.
We fear because we trust our fears more than God’s ability to rescue/protect us.
God has been an ever-present help in my life and on days where the enemy or life itself wants to try and make me forget that, I need to remind myself of God’s goodness and the promises He’s made to us in His Word.
Just as much work as it is to build a good close relationship with God, it’s double the work to protect it.
You might be going through a storm right now and you’re wondering what is the purpose of this? Why am I experiencing this? Honestly, only God can reveal that to you. However, sometimes we go through things to build endurance, to develop strength in the Word, to build our faith, to learn to trust in God. Sometimes it’s not about the storm itself but in the steps you take to get you through it that end up being the lesson.
So don’t let the enemy win! Don’t allow him the victory over your life!
Fight back in faith! Do it afraid and I promise you will feel God’s peace and authority fill you when you decide to take that step. Speak life into your mind. Whether you are fighting fear, anxiety, depression, anger, hurt, it doesn’t matter the storm. What matters is who are you going to turn to for help?
I am so grateful to have such a forgiving, kind, loving, compassionate God in my life. He understands my heart and He is working in me every day, even in my storms He reaches in and teaches me more about Him. He is so good and faithful. Don’t let the enemy distort who God is in your mind.
It may seem hard but it is definitely NOT impossible; not with God.