Why We Fear Praying Out Loud

I know to some people this topic might sound silly, but for those of us struggling with the please-don’t-pick-me’s the struggle is definitely real. I don’t think I would be too far off to say that anyone who comes into “church life” would disagree with this being something we worry about whenever it’s time to close anything out in prayer.
We worry we’re going to get picked to pray in front of the entire group and our prayer is not going to sound as well versed as the one who normally closes.
Maybe we’re out in the streets and meet someone that needs to be prayed over and we get nervous.
Maybe we’re at our youth group and are asked to pray, or we’re at a dinner and have to pray over the food (Thanksgiving is just around the corner).
Whatever the situation may be we get nervous our prayer isn’t going to sound “the best” and we end up doing our “best” praying at that moment just trying not to get picked to pray. Am I right?

Here’s the thing about prayer. It is LITERALLY just a conversation between you and God. Whether you pray out loud or in your head, it is just you coming to the Lord to talk.

I’ve thought about what makes a “good and bad” out loud prayer and this is what I’ve come up with. (Disclaimer: These are just my thoughts)



Why do we get nervous to pray out loud? Really, I think, the only reason is that we are nervous our prayer is going to sound dumb, too juvenile, too short, too weak to everyone listening. And THAT is what makes a BAD out loud prayer, worrying about what others think about your prayer.
I don’t know why but in this day and age we care tremendously about what other people think of us.

I know I do. I worry an unhealthy amount of times about what others think of me and not only when it comes to praying out loud but in social settings, in my work, in my parenting, in areas that others opinions should mean absolutely squat. This is something I am definitely praying for God to remove from my thought life and honestly I see the change.

Which brings me to my next point…


Prayer is such a powerful tool that we have in this world and I don’t think we realize this fully. Prayer is open communication with God, the creator of the world. Let that sink in.. The one who created everything with His words, the one who spoke life into existence. The one who knows your past and sees your future. The one who walks with you every single day. He is the one we are speaking to when we pray.

So when you pray out loud or even in your head, the only thing that should be on your mind is the conversation at hand. Think about it, when you speak to someone and are thinking of something else as you’re talking, your conversation is going to trail off and not make sense. You’re going to lose your train of thought or even worst, start rambling on about much of nothing.

A “good” prayer comes from a good friendship with God. If you spoke to someone you’re not close to, the conversation is going to feel very topical. It’s going to be a whole lot of fluff and fillers. But when you speak to your best friend you dive deep and quick, going straight for the real stuff. Same thing with prayer. The closer you get to Him privately, the more confident you’ll feel about doing it in front of other people.

Another thing I want to add though is how we tend to feel prayers SHOULD sound like.

Everyone is different and everyone develops a different kind of relationship with God. Some people use proper words and full scholar-like sentences. And some just let it come out as natural as speaking to a close friend because that’s just how they roll. Neither one is wrong, just different styles of relationships. There are no specific type of words that you need to say. There is no right order to praying. Just close your eyes, open your heart, and talk to God.

TIP: Practice praying out loud at home. Just so you can start getting used to hearing yourself pray out loud. Incorporate praying for others as well, that way you begin to develop more of a “We The People” mindset instead of only praying for yourself.



God is so beyond amazing and HE IS REAL. Too many times we come into this thinking He’s beyond our reach and we have to be a certain type of way before He can answer us or even listen to us. But I want to tell you that is NOT true. Gods love is definitely something hard for us to understand because we share such conditional love, but He doesn’t.

He sees our dirt, He sees where we struggle at as humans, He knows your weak points and all the things you’re ashamed to speak about but He loves you anyway!
He wants a relationship with us.

Think of a mother who brings a child into the world, loves them with a love beyond her realm of understanding. Raises that baby to have a good life (because isn’t that what we want for our offsprings) and then that same child goes off and loses themselves in drugs, sex, gangs, and really just completely stops talking to the mother because they have a “new life”.
That mom is constantly thinking about that child. Praying for her baby. Worrying if her kid is still alive. Waiting and wanting for her baby to just come back home.

Now think of God, who has exceedingly abundant love for us and has the ability to walk with us and watch over us. He always allows us to make our own choices but longs for the day when you’ll pick up the phone and just reach out to Him.

He is with you. He is ALWAYS with you. And on those days when you think He is not with you, open your heart and reach out for Him believing He is there for you.

I’m sorry, I’m not trying to preach but I just love Him so much and it hurts me to think that some people feel like God is beyond their reach when He’s sitting right there with you, looking at you with love in His eyes, waiting for you to just want Him too.


Relationship Goals

I don’t know if you know this about me but I am on the more severe end of the spectrum when it comes to introversion. I am extremely shy to the point where, at times, it’s paralyzing. This is something that I am definitely praying over constantly but till the day I can walk up to anyone and intro and outro myself, this is my reality.

That being said, I think about communication and interactions a lot and whenever I do interact it’s something that plagues my mind for days after. My mind starts to go through the questions of
“did I come off too strong?”
“did I come off as too quiet?”
“did ____ come out right? I feel like they could have taken it the wrong way..”
And my most played question is,
“did this feel as awkward to them as it did for me?”

I know some of you won’t be able to relate to my craziness but these are real questions that pop into my head after an interaction. And yes, so you know, I am laughing over here about them too.

With all this being said, the Lord gave me a word about my fears that I wish to share with anyone who can relate to where I am coming from.



This is something that really blew me away because He went on to explain that that is what it means when we say LOVE CONQUERS ALL.

Isn’t that insanely awesome and mind-blowing?!
I know none of this sounds revolutionary in the natural but let me ask you this question, a question the Lord Himself asked me after He explained all this to me.

How different would our current relationships look if we gave 100% of ourselves EVERY TIME we spoke, no conditions

That question is life-changing for me when it comes to building relationships and loving Jesus.


When I interact with someone whether they’re new to me or not, I leave wondering so many things that half the time, I talk myself out of actually just enjoying having shared a moment with someone. No matter how awkward it may have felt.

How often do we leave a conversation and wonder,
were they being genuine?
was I just bothering them or taking up their time?
do they even care about anything I just shared?
it didn’t feel like they shared as much as I did.
it didn’t feel like they were really into the conversation.
what did their tone mean when they said _______?
The list can go on but you get the gist.

We get in our own way 99.999% of the time! Don’t get me wrong, there will be times when people won’t be genuine with you, where it will seem fake and forced. Times when they will cut you off and walk away because “something better” caught their attention. Moments when you feel you are really there, in the now, and they.. just aren’t.

God is saying, THAT’S OK!

It’s ok if you feel ignored, pushed aside, taken for granted. Not because you deserve that but because it’s THEIR loss. The people who ridiculed Jesus and worked hard to get Him imprisoned and then killed, the people who rejected His word and His life, it was THEIR loss.
Jesus did not lose sleep over what others had thought of Him. He did not worry about how they would take His words.
He spoke.
He just was.
And those that believed in Him, those that believed in what He said and what He represented followed. Period.


So all this to say, Love conquers all.

Live love.
Give love.
Speak love.

Not because they share in that with you too but because God is in us and if He lives in us then there is only one thing to do and that’s love.

Love WITHOUT conditions.
Love WITHOUT doubt
Love WITHOUT insecurities


If someone appreciates that then they will be compelled to reciprocate with love, if not then just keep moving forward. Keep doing your part on this planet to show the love of God through how you speak, what you do, and all that you are.

God works ALL THINGS out for good when we choose to remain in love.

I love when God speaks to me in moments when I am failing, LIVE! I don’t take it as a bad thing when He speaks up and corrects my thinking. It just proves that though I love Him very much I am not perfect and He knows that and loves me still. He helps me in my everyday life and I am forever grateful for His presence.

What are some real-life moments where God has shown up and helped out your thinking a little?


There are days where I feel like I’ve got it all together. My day went well and the kids were working together. The house got cleaned and dinner was cooked. Maybe even a friendly phone call or text was sent.

Then there are the rest of the days. My bad days, my human days, my reality checks. Days that seem to fall apart shortly after my alarm clock goes off. Kids won’t stop bickering, no work has gotten done. It’s five o’clock and I still haven’t figured out dinner. My temper blew and my patience took the day off. Everything I seem to say comes out completely wrong.

It’s easy for me to become so discouraged on days like those because all I want to be in life is a great mother and a good friend. I care about people and the world and yet on those days that could seem farthest from the truth.

This is how I see it…

It’s as if I am covering myself in plaster, layer after layer, day after day; the plaster represents everything that I feel is wrong with me.
I ask God for healing, for a breakthrough, and He chisels. We don’t see it as a physical chunk falling off of us but somewhere in our daily lives, we take a hit. Something has popped up, giving us a chance to react differently, to make better decisions, to be the person we see God intends for us to become. But it hurts, we fail, we miss the mark. Another layer of plaster added.

We beg and plea with God for a “revival”, for something to change. What we really seem to be asking for without fully realizing it is for Him to magically change us. We want to wake up a better mother, a kinder spouse, a friend who listens more, an employee who goes above and beyond. We want the work to be done by the time we’ve finished praying.

We do need a breakthrough but it’s not going to come in the form of the Red Sea splitting before us or manna falling at our feet.
It’ll be more like the years of hard labor Noah had to put into the arc in order to protect his family. Years of slow process and possibly people mocking you for something they cannot see yet.

It may not take years but it could. It could take even longer for the days we choose to stop and give up. The days we choose to see the hard work in front of us instead of the promise God put within us.
We look at what hurts us right now instead of how our work can one day positively affect our lives and the lives of our children.

There are so many suffocating days where all I want to do is hulk through all the plaster!
I need God to break through my negative thinking, my irrational fears, my bad temper, my pent-up emotions, my dysfunctional routines.
I want Him to snap His fingers and do what only He can. I want a miracle.


The miracle, for us, (unless God wills something else) looks like hard work, looks like learning to put up room walls for each animal. It’s long days of sanding, priming, and sealing wood we had to chop down ourselves.

The breakthrough comes when we give our day to God every time we wake up and trust Him to work it out for good. Smile when we want to tell someone off, pray when we want to doubt, call someone when we need encouragement and encourage them. Breakthroughs happen when our faith is in action.

Strongholds are never too late to break out of. Our minds can be renewed daily but only when we trust His promise. Our strength comes from Him, therefore, we have the power within us to reach down and grab onto the call He placed on our lives.

We are already the people we need to be, we just don’t have enough faith to walk that out yet.

Wow, let’s think about that for a minute. We are already the person God has made us out to be. When He looks at us He sees our potential, our new (in Him) selves. The only thing that is stopping us is TRUSTING He has given us the authority to carry out that purpose and FEAR of letting go of everything that we have grown comfortable to.

Fear of letting go and doubt He’ll catch us on the way down.

What does trusting Him look like for us?

Patience: I already have the ability to withstand the little things that drive my patience short because God has given me access to His peace. However, I am refusing to use His peace once I react on my impatience.

Gossip: We have the opportunity to spread the news about Gods love and mercy and we let go of the opportunity to show others God through us the moment we join them in negative conversation.

Rudeness: We have the ability to keep our mouths shut and allow God to be our vindicator in His timing but we relinquish that the moment we take matters into our own hands and say something that is not edifying.

Negative Self-Talk: We are wonderfully made by God Himself who happens to love us in a way that we can’t even fathom (and maybe that’s why it’s so easy for us to forget this one because our love is always conditional but His never is).

He looks at us and sees greatness and beautiful colors. We look at ourselves and see what the world(society) has told us is wrong with us. We’re dumb, ugly, fat, tomboyish, loud, etc. God knows you, the deep inner you that even you have a hard time figuring out and yet He still looks at you in love! That is an amazing kind of love.

It’s ok to encourage ourselves when we feel we are beginning to fall into the trap of negative self-talk. That is a great reason to memorize some verses(promises) of the Bible that you feel will help you in this season.


God is more understanding than we’ll ever be and He is willing to help us in this life every step of the way if we invite Him to. That is where the breakthrough happens. Inviting God into your mind, your job, your family life, your marriage, your confusion, your questions, in your loneliness, in your pain, in your mistakes. Make Him a part of your daily life, of your every thought and decision.

He is working in your life, all you need to do is TRUST Him and know that He is working ALL THINGS out for good.

   God is right there with you, tune in.

We all fall short of Gods grace. Which is just a fancy way of saying none of us deserve Gods goodness. But we get it, anew, every single day. What are some ways you try to break out of your old self and try to stay focus on Gods promise for your life?

I Give Up

So many worries, so many questions that overwhelm my heart daily, so many doubts and fears.
I can easily sit here and dwell on them and begin the neverending fall into the rabbit hole of my own negative thoughts but I won’t. It’s so easy though to have a rough day and come home and start contemplating your value and role in life.

Today, however, I will try something different, I WILL SURRENDER IT ALL TO YOU.

I surrender my life
I surrender all my relationships
I surrender my finances
I surrender my work life
I surrender my worries
I surrender my dreams
I give it ALL to You Lord!

     Take the wheel of my life and have Your way.

I can no longer allow myself to stress over what other people think of me. Am I funny enough or interesting enough to be involved in their groups?

Am I enough for any man to truly show his love and appreciation for me on a daily basis?

Am I strong enough to balance work life, homeschooling, cooking, cleaning, really truly connecting with my kids on a daily basis and still try and find time to sleep?

Am I too awkward for friends?
Is fear of social engagement really the end of me?

Do I have anything good to say?
Am I worthy to share life and Your goodness with the internet?
Am I being a good mother? Am I really listening to what my kids need from me? Am I showing them every day that they are loved and completely perfectly made? Do they believe in their hearts that I care for them, not because I’m their parent but because they feel it every day?
Am I qualified enough to homeschool them?
Is the philosophy I feel You’ve placed in my heart for our homeschool life really from You? Is it the right thing to do? Will my kids learn anything real from me?

Am I meant for something bigger than this? Is this where my story ends? Just a mediocre mom?
Do I even have any real talent? Do you have something more in the works for my life?

Am I capable of supporting my little family? Am I strong enough to play the role my children need?

Am I contributing anything real to Your Kingdom? Am I being of any use to my church family? Do they even care? Do I even make a dent in the grand scheme of things?

I can’t do this anymore! I can’t keep racking my brain about this day in and day out. It takes so much out of me every night I lie awake thinking about all the different scenarios. I don’t want to think about it anymore. I don’t want to lose sleep over this. I don’t want to continue letting this completely alter my thought life and my outward life. I will not let this define what my life means to me and my kids.


I will give up my worries
I will give up my fears
I will give up wondering if people like me or not
I will give up feeling inadequate
I will give up debating “if I can”
I will give up everything that drowns my mind into darkness and I will choose to trust that You’ve got me.
I will believe that the plans You have for me and my kids are good.
I will trust that whatever season I am in You are right there walking me through it.
I will trust in what You think and say of me and I will give up relying on how I feel about myself.

I will give up relying on what my eyes can see and what my mind can comprehend and I will trust that Your thoughts and vision is nothing near what I can imagine and You know what You’re doing.

I give up my life and I will take up my cross and I will walk with You.

Thank you Lord for your faithfulness and for Your encouragement. Even in my darkness You reach in and find me. I love You for all that You are.

It’s Ok To Not Be Ok

How many times have found yourself at the end of your rope? Realizing that everything seems to be caving in all at the same time? Troubles from just about every angle show up and you just don’t feel equipt for the task. It’s time to go to church and you try to find any reason in the book not to go because, well, life.

But somehow you’re there.

You find yourself at church and suddenly your heart feels heavier than ever.

Instead of running to the altar and crying out to the Lord you’re sitting at the back of the room quietly crying, trying your best to remain out-of-sight? You don’t want to draw attention to your weariness. No one needs to see just how broken you’re feeling. Your life, your problems, right?

The thing is, even though you feel broken. Even though you feel like giving up. Even though you don’t even know how you managed to make it to church, you’re there. You made it because even in your brokenness your heart was receptive enough to the Lord’s direction.


And even if no one around you notices you, or no one cares to see your pain God does,  He is the only one whose opinion of us matters, and He loves us. He feels our pain. He hears our hearts crying out in our weakness. He sees all that we’ve been through and He knows our tanks are empty.

When we decide to show up, we find that God has already been waiting for us.

He has our backs. He is our strength. He is the only one who can truly help us through whatever storm we face. We expect so much from the people around us. We expect them to care. We expect them to help. We expect a lot. Yet for some odd reason, we usually expect God to leave us hanging when He is the only one who can meet us exactly where we are.

So I don’t care if you see me crying. I don’t care if you think something negative about me in my moments of weakness. Just because I breakdown does not mean I have fallen. I am human! I hurt. I feel. I get overwhelmed. I grow weary.


I’ve come to refuel. I need God to take my load and fill my spirit and so I’m here. I’m crying, I’m broken and I’m at my Father’s house expecting healing, expecting a breakthrough, expecting Him to breathe life into my heart once again.

I’m weak and I’m still learning so much about what it means to walk through life completely relying on Him. But He is my strength. He sees my heart and He has me in His hands.

So to all those looking at someone in church losing her cool.
Let her.
She’s kept it together long enough.

She showed up, give her a hand. 👏

   I am praying for everyone out there who needs a little grace. Anyone who is struggling through something they don’t see an outcome for. I want to remind you that the God we serve is capable of things we can’t even begin to imagine. So believe He can and don’t be afraid to ask Him for help. 

God Wants To Help

I’m a stay-at-home mom with 3 kids whom I also homeschool. I know a little bit about being overwhelmed and overworked; unnoticed and unappreciated. I feel I do so much for my family because I love them, of course. I just think it’d be nice to be acknowledged for all that I do every once in a while?

I am with my kids allll the time and sometimes that task alone just seems like a lot. It’s not that I don’t love my kids, and I definitely wouldn’t give up homeschooling them. I just feel like I am always “on” and that takes a lot out of a person.

I try to explain it to people like this. Imagine, if you will, you go into work and never leave. You sleep there, wake up there, eat all your meals there, and while you’re in the bathroom your supervisor is talking to you through the door about an issue (of course in my case, the “supervisor” would be in the bathroom).


There are sooo many times I go to my room to cry because I feel so overwhelmed with trying to figure out 3 completely different kids, who all need love and attention from me but in 3 different ways.

I want nothing more than to be a great mom to my 3 little blessings but some days I feel like I fail at that miserably. I get overwhelmed, and it shows. I get mad, and it shows. I get annoyed, and it shows. I give up so many times in my head on those days. And yet, by the grace of God, those kids still love me.

I could definitely take myself out on more dates and ask family for some help for me to de-stress every now and then. But I don’t, because ever since my heart started walking on the outside of my body I’ve been filled with anxiety and worry. I feel I care for them too much to just leave them anywhere without me. I know, it sounds a bit much, trust me, I know..


God is the reason I even have my kids. Each one of them was directly sent from Him. He trusted me with their lives and believed that I had what they needed to have a good life. He trusted in me to teach them about Him and life, in a way that matters most. He lead me to homeschool them and trusted that I would make that jump. He also believes that even when I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing I’d be open enough to Hear Him whisper “we’ve got this”.

God has completely revealed His trust in me and every passing day He does it again. He brought them to me so that we could teach each other something new about love, life, and faith. And He is asking me to trust Him in keeping them safe while I’m away.

You hear this and it sounds so simple. “YES girl! Let Him take the wheel”. And yet, I still find it so hard to completely let my mind go of worry when I leave them anywhere.

This might sound trivial to some or maybe not even relatable at all. These are my struggles. Figuring out how to gracefully manage a home while not forgetting to take care of me; giving God control of the outcome. But for you, it can look completely different.

Maybe you find yourself struggling with issues at work. It could be your co-workers giving you a hard time, maybe your boss keeps picking on you for some reason, maybe the workload seems too much at times.
Maybe your struggles are at school. With classmates or teachers constantly on your case. Perhaps you’re struggling with a new concept in a specific class.
You could be struggling in your home life. With your spouse, maybe your health, dealing with a loss of a loved one, maybe your finances are looking grim.

Whatever the situation you find yourself currently losing control in, God wants to help.
He wants you to trust Him with your problems and talk to Him about them, and just completely hand them over to Him. He WANTS to see us thrive. He WANTS us to truly enjoy our lives. Let Him in.


He is asking you to trust Him the way He has been trusting you. Trust that He is listening to your prayers about your job, your bills, your marriage. Trust that He has it all in His hands. Trust that He is working all things out for your good. Trust that He wants you to have an awesome life. Trust that He knows the future and His timing is always on point.

HE CAN and HE WILL if you would just BELIEVE.

“What do you mean IF I can? Jesus asked.
ANYTHING is possible if a person BELIEVES.” -Mark 9:23

I pray the Lord continues to encourage you and remind you of His presence even in your everyday life. I know it’s hard to believe that He cares about the small things but He does. He sees you cleaning the living room for the 10th time today. He sees you in the bathroom at work flooded with frustration. He hears your cries as you grieve the loss of a loved one.


Call on Him.
Let Him in.
Be encouraged and remember that all you need to do is start talking; He’s listening.

When The Enemy Attacks

There are a plethora of reasons you could be in a season of deep attacks from the enemy. One main reason being the simple fact that you’ve chosen the “other side” is enough for him to come after you.

I’m here today to address one reason in particular though, and I’m sure you’ll relate to it well…

When we choose to live out the life God has planned for us, the enemy suits up for battle.

We all have a purpose in our lives. And though our main purpose is to spread the good news, it’s how we do it that the Lord wants to reveal to us. In what way has God directed you to walk out and demonstrate His life on Earth? How have you felt Him calling out to you to share His life through your talents?

maybe something more practical?
Your art?
Your writing?
Financially helping others?
There are plenty of ways the Lord can use each and every one of us to display His love for the world.

Here’s where we usually get tripped up though. DOING IT.


The enemy is always lurking and hunting for Gods people to shake up and destroy, that will always be true. But something you might not have thought of is that he knows he can’t but he tries anyway. He believes that one day his scare tactics will work; sadly sometimes they do.

He feeds us lies in failure.
He tries to scare us away from growing closer to God by making himself look like some big scary monster you don’t really want to go up against.
He tries to make you believe you’re all alone in this.
He whispers lies of doubt and anxiety.

Here’s the kicker though, HE’S A LIAR! Even the Bible says he’s the king of deception. We have to recognize that.

God has already won the war!

The end has already been written and it doesn’t look good for the enemy.
You know the saying “misery loves company”? Well, that couldn’t be truer for him. He is going down and he is reaching for anyone who is not planted firmly to the ground Word to take with him.

I don’t mean to preach at you like I’ve got this all figured out because I am faaar from it. Just last night I could not sleep because I was paralyzed with fear. The thing is, this is his go-to method for me because, unfortunately, he knows it works.

Ever since I was 5 I can remember being scared of the dark because I used to see shadows and little demons (I know, it sounds pretty scary). But my point is that he knows how to get me questioning my path and if this is something I really want to “throw myself into”.

Here’s what God told me (because this time I’m NOT backing down!).


I know, sounds like a no-brainer, right? But God knows that sometimes repetition helps make things stick. He explained to me that I need to become more knowledgeable on who God is and all He is capable of doing. Also though, He wants me to see all the times the enemy has tried to show up in peoples lives and the Lord has rescued them because of their faithfulness to Him.

In other words, knowing your enemy and his tactics and seeing Gods hand through it all helps build your confidence in Gods power and authority.


Believe it or not, this is a legitimate method of attack on the enemy. The Lord had people in the Bible use it many times. So put on some gospel music or just start singing out your own song of praise toward the Lord. The enemy won’t stick around for very long and the very act of you stepping out in fear and singing anyways is proof enough for God of your trust in Him; He will show up for you.


This is powerful, I mean they all are, but this is the exact strategy that Jesus himself used against the enemy when Satan attempted to tempt Jesus. Jesus didn’t need to yell or protest. He didn’t break a sweat. He used the Word to declare His victory and to remind the enemy of his place. God has placed so many promises and anecdotes all throughout the Bible that if we would just become familiar with them we could use those to strike the enemy down when he comes around.

(Last but definitely not least)


Prayer is basically a conversation with God so if in these moments of attack and weakness we would reach out and call on Jesus He will be there to remind us of what we should do. Last night the Lord brought all this to memory, and though it still took me a long time to fall asleep, I fell asleep in victory. Still a little scared but confident that God is still watching over me and that He is doing a good work in my life. I reminded myself that change doesn’t happen overnight. That the Lord is guiding me through this process and one day I will come face-to-face with this and say the right thing with all the authority and power the Lord has already made available to me.

I hope this encourages you in knowing that even though you don’t have it all figured out (ahem, me), God is still working in your life. It’s easy to reject or distrust something or someone when you don’t know them. Make it your mission to know the person you’re putting all your trust in.

What are some ways the enemy comes at you when you try moving forward in God’s plan for your life? And what do you do to strike back?
I’m completely interested in hearing your plans of attack so please do tell.